Here's a joke for you

I thought this joke up the other day so I'm sharing it here! Maybe I should start my own christmas cracker business! 😂 Alright, here's the joke:

What happened to the person suspected of robbing a bakery?

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They were taken into custardy!

I sincerely hope this joke made you laugh. If it didn't make you laugh, 

Thank you for reading! Goodbye until next time! ~Jay

Millet Bolognese Recipe - Vegan

Recently I came up with a brilliant recipe for bolognese that doesn't use mince. The texture and flavour are very similar to beef mince bolognese, plus millet is a source of both protein and fibre. It's great for those who don't eat meat, or want to reduce the amount of meat they eat.

Ingredients:

2 Red onions, diced

Port or red wine (or red wine vinegar)

Olive oil

About 100g Millet

400g/1 can chopped tomatoes

At least a tsp tomato puree

Half of a lemon's juice

Mixed herbs

Rosemary
Garlic
Agaricus bisporus mushrooms (white, chestnut, portobello, etc - basically, the common mushrooms you can buy in most supermarkets. They have different common names based on how mature they are!), as many as you'd like really. I'd recommend 4 large chestnut mushrooms, or the equivalent if you're using white or chestnut mushrooms

1 beef flavour stock cube (use vegan stock cubes if you don't eat meat. Oxo have now released meat free stock cubes!)
Salt (optional) as much as you see fit
1/2 tsp maggi vegetable seasoning (optional) gives it a deeper flavour, so it tastes meatier.

Equipment:

Saucepan (two if you would like to have it with some spaghetti or other pasta)
Frying pan
Something to stir everything with
A knife to cut things
Some spoons for measuring

Method:

1. Put the red onion, 2 or 3 tablespoons of port and a teaspoon of olive oil in the frying pan on medium heat, stirring occasionally to stop the onions sticking. Make sure each bit of onion is evenly coated in port and oil. If at any point the liquids dry up, add a bit of water (or port) as the goal is to soften, not fry, the onions.
2. Half cook the millet in a saucepan, with just over enough water to cover the millet. It's half cooked when it starts to expand but is still a little hard when eaten. Medium heat.
3. Add the chopped tomatoes, lemon juice, herbs, garlic, mushrooms and stock to the saucepan, along with half a cup of port. Throughout the cooking process, you can always add more port to your taste. Stir occasionally and let it gently bubble away on medium to low heat.
4. Once the onions are softened, add them into the saucepan and stir into the rest of the sauce.
5. When the sauce has reached a thick consistency, give it a taste and add however much salt and tomato paste you see fit. I'd recommend adding a small pinch of salt at a time, stirring well and re-tasting. The lemon should enhance the saltiness of the dish, so you may need less salt than you think. You should also add at least a tsp of tomato puree as this is needed for thickening and enhancing the tomato flavour, but it's up to you if you want to add more.
6. Cook some pasta, have it on its own, or let it cool and put in tubs for freezing. Whatever you do with it is up to you :) I usually make enough to have a meal then freeze a few individual portions for whenever I don't feel like cooking!

Please let me know if you try this recipe in the comments below, or send me an email! I hope yours turns out well! :) Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time! ~Jay

Steven Universe: The Foreshadowing Of Lion's Past

I'll warn you in advance but this has spoilers for later on in Steven Universe when the explanation as to why Lion is pink is revealed. If you haven't watched Season 5 Episode 3 (Off Colours) yet, please turn around now!

Now, with that spoiler warning out of the way, I'd like to present to you an observation I made recently. I came across a picture of several different lion skulls, completely unrelated to Steven Universe. However, when I noticed the shape of the nose cavity I was instantly reminded of Lion and I think this picture should make it clear why:

source: https://wellcomecollection.org/works/f3ej7tyq

The nose cavity is a heart shape! Seeing as skulls and bones are often associated with death, I think that the peculiar shape of Lion's nose could have been foreshadowing that Lion is pink because he died and was revived by Rose.

Of course there's a good chance that this wasn't intentional. Hearts are a symbol of love, which fits with the theme of the show. It also could have been a design choice to make him appear cuter. If it wasn't intentional, it's still a really cool coincidence!

What do you think? Was this intentional or is it just a coincidence? Please let me know in the comments! Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time! ~Jay

Growing My Own Food

I've always grown my own food as long as I can remember. The amount I grow varies from year to year - some years I'll grow all sorts of plants and other years I just grow whatever perennials I already have. It's quite rewarding to grow your own food, and I'm not just talking about the food itself - you get to see how these plants grow at every stage and you are more grateful for the food you've grown. It feels quite special to be able to eat something you sewed and cared for.

This year I'm growing peas! I have about 25 sprouting right now. Most of them are in their own pots but I still have a few to plant out. Peas are brilliant for improving soil quality as they have little nodules on their roots containing nitrogen-fixing bacteria. This means they convert the nitrogen in the air (N₂) into a form plants can use. Instances like this where two organisms work together like this is called mutual symbiosis. Both the peas and bacteria benefit here - the peas get nutrients, the bacteria get a safe place to live.

Another plant with this symbiotic relationship is broad beans. In fact, all legumes have nitrogen-fixing bacteria nodules. I mentioned broad beans because that's another plant I'm growing! Back in 2018, a field on top of the hills I take evening walks along was growing broad beans but the crop failed due to the intense heat that summer. When I took the beans from the blackened pods, the beans were already dried. I only took a handful of beans, planning to go back for more in a few days, however it rained heavily the next day (for the first time in a while). By the time I went back, the beans had already started to grow mould. I couldn't save any more beans but out of the ones I did, every single bean has germinated! Broad bean flowers are rather beautiful so I look forward to their growth!

Herbs are very important to me as I use them liberally and often. This year I'm growing heaps of catnip and basil. I'll also be growing thyme and possibly hyssop and safflower (two of the plants in a 'shake & rake' packet I bought contained hyssop and safflower, as well as bee balm and even more basil). Strangely, some of the old bee balm patch I used to have is starting to grow back, probably from dormant seeds. I absolutely love bee balm, or lemon balm as it's also known, so I'm quite chuffed about this. My cats on the other hand aren't so pleased. The younger one, Smudge, actually gagged at the smell!

I have some old seeds that I'm giving a chance but I'm not sure whether they'll grow due to their age (most of them are at least a decade past their 'sew by' date). It's worth sewing them despite the low chances of success, just in the hopes that something might grow. I may as well grow them seeing as there isn't really any other way I could use them. One of the 'newer' seed packets was for courgettes but I'm pretty sure I got them in 2012 as part of that year's vegetarian week, so it's unlikely I'll have much success there. I also planted 4 or 5 packets of poppy seeds, which I should have some better results with seeing as poppies can stay dormant for up to 50 years.

One of my perennials is strawberry plants. I've had them so long that I can't remember a time without them. For the entire month of June, I eat strawberries every day - 30 or more each day at the height of strawberry season. When I think of summer, I think of strawberries. It's basically a ritual for me now to grow strawberries. They've been taking over the garden for years now they just keep spreading (not that I'm complaining!). Ozzy, my older cat, loves a little bit of strawberry once in a while. My rabbit Nibbles used to eat half the strawberries before I could even get to them! Both Ozzy and Nibbles have/had white fur so you could always tell when they ate strawberries as they'd have a big pink stain around their mouths.

Two of my more recent perennials are raspberries and blackcurrants. I got them as a gift for my mum back in December 2013. Since then the raspberries have grown considerably in size and are almost as plentiful as the strawberries. The blackcurrants have been quite a bit slower to grow. In fact until 2018, they didn't actually produce any fruit. I didn't even realise they were still growing until I noticed one day a huge, hidden bunch of nearly-ripened fruits.

I've written before about how much I love rhubarb in one of my recipes but I'll say it again; rhubarb is so underrated! It can be used in a variety of sweet and savoury dishes, yet it seems most people only use it for Crumble. I have plenty of rhubarb recipes to share with you in later blog posts. Because of how big the rhubarb I grow is, I'll have plenty to try on all sorts of recipes all the way from spring to autumn! I've added some rust to the soil near the rhubarb this year, so it'll hopefully be extra flavourful. The rhubarb has even bigger growth spurts each year and it seems this year will be no exception! I counted eleven crowns this year, up from about 5 or 6 last year, which was a great year for my rhubarb. I had never seen it grow so big. Many of the stalks were as long as my arms and one was longer than my leg. With rhubarb, it's important to water it often as it's a large plant.

Next year I'm going to grow tomatoes. I would have grown some this year but I couldn't get a hold of any seeds. Tomatoes are a great plant to grow as the fruits are practically a necessity. I'm thinking of growing yellow pear tomatoes and green zebra tomatoes. The green zebras will be perfect for making green tomato chutney.

Are you growing anything this year, or planning to next year? Please leave a comment down below! Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time! :) ~Jay

Spectrum Binders - A Review

In May 2018, I bought a new binder from a UK-based binder company called Spectrum. Initially, I chose the medium size in white but this turned out to be too big for me when it arrived. Luckily, they have a free returns policy and I got a new one sent out in the next size down and this one fit perfectly. I bought the same size again one year later, except in a skin colour this time. The binder is fairly comfortable (well, for a binder it is! 😂) and it is quite effective at flattening my chest. The back and shoulder strap materials are breathable, which is a relief during summer. Here's a summary of the features:

• Made out of three materials: thick cotton on the front for binding; lycra on the back and shoulder straps to allow for your chest to expand as you breath; and a nylon mesh on the back which helps the cotton on the front to bind while still stretching to allow for breathing. 
• The materials are eco-friendly as they're made out of recycled material.
• The sewing is fairly good quality. I noticed the back-stitching starting to come undone on the front right shoulder strap a year into wearing my first binder (the white one), but this is probably because I'm not very careful with it when I take the binder off.  Besides that, the stitching has been rather reliable. Both binders are still in good condition after 1&2 years of use.
• The binders to begin to lose their binding ability after a year of constant use but they still flatten my chest to an acceptable level. 
• The price is similar to those of many other binders available. I'd say the price is fairly reasonable.
• Unfortunately they only currently have short binders. Personally, this doesn't affect me greatly but if you prefer full length binders then you're out of luck right now. 
• The binders come in a range of colours - the standard black, white, grey and 3 different skin colours. There's also a blue, a red and a lilac option. There has been a light green option in the past, however this is currently unavailable.

Overall, I'd definitely recommend Spectrum binders - especially if you live in the UK. Their binders are high-quality, well-made and effective. I'll definitely be buying a third one of their binders whenever I need a new one.

Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time! ~Jay