Apologies

Sorry for the lack of posts recently! I just don't know what to post. I should've called my blog Forever De-JAY-ed because my posts seem to be forever delayed! I have several drafts in the works so hopefully I'll get something up soon!

It's Getting Colder...

I love the winter. It's good for photography, the grass begins to glisten every morning, and it gives me an excuse to wear my National Geographic fleece jackets! To quote Manic Street Preachers, "We love the winter; it brings us closer together."

However, there is a downside to winter. PAIN. My bones ache when it gets colder and it makes everything slower. I take much longer to write and to cycle in the mornings.

And the hands...

Ugh...

At least this year I have gloves to keep at least a little feeling in my hands!

It seems as if I complain that it's too hot in the summer, then complain that it's too cold during winter!

Another downside is that I can't go on evening bike rides as it's already dark by the time I used to go on bike rides! At least I can still ride to and from school everyday. Also, I still go on bike rides at the weekend!

Thank you for reading and I hope you get through winter okay! Goodbye until next time! ~Jay

LGBT+ Club At My School

When I was in year 10, there was an LGBT+ club at my school which I went to every week. I had a lot of fun at this group and it was a wonderful place to go to for support. However, this club disappeared when I went into year 11. Now that I'm in year 12, I am allowed to set up my own club...so that's what I've  done!

With the help of a few friends, we've set the club back up! The first meeting was today!

I'm looking forward to running this club for (hopefully) the next two years. I hope that I can leave a positive impact on the young LGBT+ people at my school. Maybe it could help me, too!

Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time! ~Jay

Asexual Stories!

(Content Warning: mention of sexual coercion)

For Asexuality Awareness Week (22nd to 28th of October 2017), I asked on Instagram for those on the asexual spectrum to submit their stories to me. I wanted to do this to show how diverse the asexual community can be and to bring awareness to the experiences of ace people and those on the ace spectrum.

This first story is from an anonymous submitter!

To start off, my sexuality is Demi-Bisexual. I came to that realization about six months ago after almost a year of soul-searching. I'm out to my counselor, my old debate coach and two friends who are part of the LGBT community. I go to a Catholic high school, and it's hard to feel accepted in my faith and with my friends. But I know that what I feel is valid, and that thought keeps me going. Being on the Ace spectrum, I do feel invisible sometimes. It's not exactly easy to have to explain my sexuality to people. Being Demi, to me, means that I don't feel sexual attraction unless I've formed a strong bond with said individual. In fact, I've only felt sexual attraction once, but that's another story for another day. And, yes, Demi Lovato is one of my favorite singers 😉

The next story is from another anonymous submitter!

With the whole ace thing, I only really figured it out recently. I thought there was something wrong with me when I wasn't cool with doing things on first dates. I get a lot of dates, and I have been pressured into sex by ex boyfriends. But I am very assertive and I dealt with it. In year nine i came out as bi. It was strange, and I had a girlfriend at the time. It was only a romantic thing really. In year eleven I came out as a lesbian. But I started to realise I felt a weird attraction to my best friend, who I later fell in love with and had sex with. But it was for his pleasure only. We broke up after a while. When I started college, I looked back to everything and came to the conclusion, after seeing a post about it, that I was demisexual. But I guess homoromantic. When I moved 100 miles away from all my friends a few months ago, I met a girl and she brought to light that having dreams of having all sex characteristics of all sexes I know of frequently is a lil weird. So we talked and I discovered that I am gender queer or non binary. But I would want a penis. So I am genderqueer, demisexual, and I have a romantic and aesthetic preference for girls, and gender queer people. I have only told my tutors and a girl in my class this because I wanted them to call me by my preferred pronouns they/them/he/him literally anything but she it makes me feel a lil weird and uncomfortable. I don't know why but it's a lil weird that I'm only comfortable telling people that I'm a homo or queer person irl but it makes me cry when I try to tell people I'm ace or gender queer. Is it weird?

This third story is from @danielle.ramsay on Instagram

Being on the asexual spectrum has given me a lot of freedom in my experience of my sexuality.
I no longer feel confused or pressured to feel attracted to people, even my own partner. I do feel
attracted to my partner, but only once in a while and it only happened after a very long time of
being together. I understand why I’m uncomfortable with sex on television even if I enjoy it
myself. To me, identifying as demisexual and biromantic has allowed me to understand myself
better and be happy :)

Taylor from @us.ace.love.space on Instagram submitted this next story!

My name is Taylor, and I am an aromantic asexual. This means that I do not experience sexual attraction nor romantic attraction. I've known I was ace for about a year and a half, but I've only known I was aromantic for about six months. Before, I thought I was bisexual and then asexual and biromantic, because I misinterpreted no attraction as both attraction to girls and boys (which I've seen is actually quite common). I'm out to a few friends at school but not any of my family. Ironically, most of my friend group established prior to knowing I was ace and coming out is actually also ace or at least queer as well.

The last story is by Lani, who is also from @us.ace.love.space

I have decided since a couple weeks ago to go with the label quoiromantic because I don’t want to go with Panromantic cause idk if I’m just confused yet I don’t like Heteromantic because I do find love in people of other/no gender. And with being Christian all this is just a big mess and some days I feel like I should never looked into all of this but I always get curious of my different thoughts and feelings/emotions ah people of different/no specific gender can be so loving I don’t know what to do. I’ve known I was asexual for almost 2 years. I have came out to most of my friends as gay ace and my Mom as asexual.
I’d like to go to pride one day with my friends :) it’ll be some years before that happens sadly

Thank you to all of those who submitted stories! And thank you to everyone reading!

To everyone on the ace spectrum reading this: You're never alone and your identity is valid. There is nothing wrong with you. Happy Asexuality Awareness Week!

Goodbye until next time! ~Jay

3 Positivity Songs

There may be a lot of negativity in the world, but there's just as much positivity in the world. One of the many ways to spread positivity through the world is through music. Here are three songs that keep me feeling positive!

1. Biggie Smalls by CupcakKe

This absolutely amazing song from CupcakKe spreads the message of body positivity. CupcakKe is a truly wonderful person and I love her music. 

2. Imperfection by Evanescence

I've loved Evanescence for years now, and I'm so glad to have found out about this wonderful band. The meaning behind this song is to keep fighting and to never give up. This is such a powerful song. It's truly inspiring to listen to some of Evanescence's earlier songs (pre-Fallen) and then listen to this song. It just shows that life may seem bad now, but it can get better! And when it does get better, it's the most amazing feeling you could imagine!

3. Sick Of It by Skillet

This song gives the message to stand up for yourself and for what you believe. There were so many Skillet songs I could have chosen for this third spot! They are an incredibly empowering band, and they're such lovely people! I had the honour of being able to see them play live on the 9th of December 2017. If you ever have the chance to see them live, take it! You definitely won't regret it and you'll remember it for years to come. The band and the crowd were buzzing with positive energy the entire time. 

I hope these songs have filled you with positivity! Maybe they'll help you feel positive time and time again. I know they do that to me! Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time! ~Jay

The Gender Tag

This is a popular tag, and quite an interesting one! So, I thought I'd give it a try! 

1. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you?

I identify as agender. To me, this means I don't feel that identifying as man, woman or any other gender fits me. I do wish to have a masculine appearance and I'd be more comfortable with male secondary sex characteristics. However, this doesn't make me a man. I feel like the term 'trans-masculine' fits me, due to wanting to transition to a more masculine body type. For any of you who don' know or are unsure on what 'trans-masculine' means, it means anyone who wants to or has transition(ed) to become more masculine. These people can be anywhere from 100% male trans men to demiboys/demimen* to people like me who aren't men but are happier in a body with male secondary sex characteristics.

*People who identify as men but aren't 100% men. They may fluctuate between feeling genderless and feeling male, or they may feel consistently somewhere between male and genderless (eg. they feel about 3/4 male and 1/4 almost all the time)

2. What pronouns honour you?

They/them are the most fitting for me. I'm comfortable with he/him, but it doesn't feel as fitting as they/them. I haven't found any other pronouns that I'm comfortable with.

3. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.

I wear all sorts of clothing! Mostly I buy cheap clothing (and by that, I mean low-priced) but sometimes I'll treat myself to something slightly more expensive (such as a brand new hoodie!). I usually wear t-shirts, often short-sleeved ones. Occasionally I wear a shirt or a polo shirt. I really like shirts and polo shirts! I don't have much to wear on my legs. Up until this Sunday, I only had a pair of jeans and three pairs of shorts. I also have two pairs of tracksuit bottoms, but one pair is very old and the other pair used to be part of my PE uniform! This Sunday I found a pair of vertically-striped beige trouser, which are very comfortable, for £3! They fit me (almost) perfectly and will be perfect to wear during winter. 

When it comes to colour, my clothes are very varied. I wear many shades of blue and green. I also have several camouflage items (due to my love of Manic Street Preachers) I wear light colours, medium colours, dark colours, warm colours, cool colours, all sorts of colours! I wear plenty of black and grey clothing, too. Wearing white tops is nice, but they're so easy to get dirty! I usually get a stain on a white t-shirt within thirty minutes o putting it on! 

A lot of my clothing inspiration comes from Manic Street Preachers. I have several camo tops, camo hats, camo socks, camo shorts, and a camo jacket! This is inspired from their 1994 style. I also have a leopard-print felt skirt, but I don't wear it. I'm planning on wearing it WHEN (not IF) I go to a manics concert. It was super comfy when I tried it on! I also have a t-shirt which I wrote a quote from the song 'Faster' on. I have never bought myself any manics merch shirts, but my father found two that he no longer wore and gave them to me. One of them is at least two sizes too big and has paint splashes on it, but that just makes it more fashionable...right? It kind of does suit how the band stands for working class values, though. 

4. Talk about your choices with body hair. How do you style your hair? Do you have facial hair? What do you choose to shave, or choose not to shave?

I have rather long hair -- long enough for people sitting next to me to sit on! That happened once near the start of Year 10, and I've kept growing it since then. Because of the way I style my hair, however, it doesn't always seem that way! I have a fringe cut in a way so that my hair appears to be a short length. I remember once in Year 11 (I'm currently in y12) my Biology teacher was shocked as I walked into the classroom because he thought I'd cut all of my hair off. I am considering cutting my hair of to donate to charity at the end of Year 13, but I'm not sure if I could manage parting with my long hair (no pun intended...okay, maybe slightly intended). I have nearly two years to decide though, so I don't have to make a decision any time soon! 

As for facial hair, I don't really have much. I have a very sparse mustache, but it's not hugely noticeable -- just several dark hairs. I like it, though. My eyebrows are left to do their own thing. I don't pluck or shave them, or even flatten them down when they're all over the place. 

I have shaved my legs and arms a few times in the past, because I believed the misconception that this would make the hair grow quicker/longer. I wanted longer arm and leg hair because I wanted it to keep me warm in the winter! The few times I did shave made my arms and legs sore and itchy, which wasn't great! Nowadays I don't shave any hair off of me. I only cut my fringe!

5. Talk about cosmetics. Do you choose to wear makeup? Do you paint your nails? What types of soaps and perfumes do you use if any?

I do have some black makeup, but those are for having fun with and wearing indoors. MUA do a really good black lipstick for only £1! They also do an amazing black eyeshadow for the same price! To me, makeup is more of a fun and artistic thing. Sometimes I use a contour kit I picked up at Poundland to have a practice at drag king makeup. The results aren't always superb but it's always lots of fun! I also like adding lots of glitter to my drag makeup! I absolutely adore glitter!

Right now as I am typing this, my nails are painted a glossy jet black. I love painting my nails as it can be super fun! Also, I love the shiny and sometimes sparkly results! Now that I'm in sixth form, I can wear nail polish to school if I'd like. However, I have to make sure my nail varnish doesn't clash with blue (the colour of my suit)  or whatever colour my shirt and tie are. Black is quite a safe colour as it can go with anything.

Usually I get deodorant sprays from Wilko's for 50p. They smell nice and are quite affordable. I use them sparingly though, as they are spray cans. My favourite perfume is and has been Davidoff Cool Water for years. Finally, this May, it was my birthday AND Cool Water was on sale for £12! That's quite a bit of money to spend just for me to smell nice, but it was my birthday and with how good it smell, it was worth it.

6. Have you experienced being misgendered? If so, how often?

I am almost always misgendered, really. I doubt anyone has ever looked at me and though "hey, I think they must be agender!" I have had several incidents where I've been called 'Sir' or referred to by strangers as he/him. I've also heard a young child say "I think it's a girl" as I've 

7. Do you experience dysphoria? How does that affect you?

Yes, I definitely do...Sometimes it's not that strong. I just get a bit of a "hey, that's not right. It shouldn't be like that." kind of feeling that doesn't bother me. Other times it can really bother me and I can feel very uncomfortable. Whenever it gets too bad I try different methods of coping to stop it spiraling out of control. I'd rather extend on this in a separate blog post as it's a very important issue and will need a lot of thinking over. That post will probably be a very long post, unless it's too difficult for me to write.

8. Talk about children. Are you interested in having children? Would you want to carry a child if that were an option for you? Do you want to be the primary caretaker for any children you may have?

I'm not interested in having any children of my own at all. I'm considering possibly adopting an older child at some point (12-16 year old kind of age range) I think this will be more manageable for me and won't be too much for me to cope with. Children have less chance of being adopted as they get older, so that's another incentive for me. I also would love to be able to help any of my friends who have kids in raising their children. It'd be great to be able to make sure my friends' children are surrounded by people who love and care for them.

As for carrying a child, I'd never want to do that myself as it seems like such a painful process! Also there are so many risks to childbirth that would worry me too much! People who go through pregnancy are really brave and incredible (most of the time, anyways). 

9. Talk about money. Is it important to you to provide for a family financially if you choose to have one? Is it important to you that you earn more than any partner you may have? Do you prefer to pay for things like dates? Are you uncomfortable when others pay for you or offer to pay for you?

I feel like it is quite important to financially provide for a family you've chosen to have if you can. If you've chosen to have a family and you have enough money to provide for them, I can't think of any good reason at all as to why you shouldn't provide for your family.

To me, it's not at all important to me how much any partner I may have earns, as long as I'm not with them only for money and vice versa. If I were to go on dates with this partner (or just on a date in general) I would prefer to pay, but the kind of dates I would like wouldn't involve much money, the majority of times. I'll usually only accept an offer for someone to pay for me if it's something I need (such as food or drink) and if the person offering is a close friend. I also always try to remember to pay it back as soon as possible, or at least return the favour. If someone offers to pay for me, I find that very kind and considerate.

10. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?

Yes, there is. As a non-binary person, in the past I have often experienced doubts about the validity of my gender identity. I have to remind myself that my gender is real. I feel these ways for a reason. I just have to go back and remind myself what made me realise I was agender in the first place.

Another thing I'd like to share is another doubt I have about my gender identity. Being trans-masculine and agender can bring up some self-doubt. "Am I really agender if I want to be more masculine?" The answer is yes! And the same goes if you want to be feminine! Gender expression and gender identity may be closely linked for many, but they are still separate! For anyone having the same doubts, I'd recommend two YouTubers to you: AJ Clementine and ChandlerNWilson. AJ Clementine no longer identifies as agender, but for a while that label fit her and she's made some really helpful videos for agender people who are trans-feminine that could also be helpful for trans-masculine agender people.

This reminds me of another issue; I sometimes worry that when I start making bigger leaps in my transition, such as starting testosterone and getting top surgery, I'll no longer feel agender. There's nothing to worry about with this at all! Gender identity can change! There's absolutely nothing wrong if you start getting different feelings about your gender! Also, it's not something that will definitely happen. It's just happened to a few agender people before. It can even take years into your transition to no longer identify as agender (AJ is an example of this). Just be aware that if you start to get changing feelings towards your gender identity when you start transitioning, then there's nothing to worry about and it's perfectly normal. There's nothing wrong with you!

One last thing I'd like to share is that I love dresses! However, wearing them right now can make me incredibly dysphoric. One thing I'm looking forward to in the future is hopefully wearing dresses once in a while! 

This gender tag was very enjoyable to do as it really made me think and allowed me to organise my thoughts on a few things. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please contact me if there are any other tags you'd like me to do. Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time! ~Jay

3 Songs I'd Recommend

I'm going to start recommending songs every now and then. These three songs are always great to hear:

1. Rise by Skillet

This song is very inspirational. It's a good song to listen to when it feels like the world's against you.
"As hope burns, we rise from the ashes!"

2. Land Of Confusion by Disturbed (Cover)

Both the animation and the music are absolutely stunning. Genesis' lyrics have a deep and powerful meaning, which is really reflected in Disturbed's music video.

3. If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next by Manic Street Preachers

I've been listening to this song (and this band) my entire life and it's amazing every time I listen to it. The theme of the song is the Spanish Civil War and the rather long title is inspired by a poster showing a child being killed under a sky of bombers. This song has an important message and a beautiful sound.

Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time! ~Jay

FREE worldwide shipping?!

Hello, everyone! I have an exciting announcement to make! I have become a promoter for The Discriminant! If you use my code, Jay13, you will recieve free worldwide shipping! This company has a wide range of clothing products which are all genderless! They also have a collection of trans products, such as binders, gaffs and hip size modifiers.

A little over a month ago, I bought one of the binders (The Goshton) from the trans collection and it is brilliant! It works very well to comfortably flatten my chest. It's also quite easy to put on. All I have to do is to do the hooks up and my chest is flat!

As well as these products for reducing dysphoria, The Discriminant sell some great clothing! Take a look at this hoodie! Also, this t-shirt is amazing!

If enough people use my code, I will be able to hold a giveaway from the trans collection! The products in this section are for reducing gender dysphoria. So, by using my code you will be able to help someone who can't afford one of these products themselves.

Please feel free to share my code around! :)

Thank you for reading, and goodbye until next time! ~Jay

My A-Level Choice

In one of my previous post I explained my situation with having to drop an A-Level. Out of the four I was doing, I chose Biology, Chemistry and Government & Politics. That means I dropped Mathematics. I was sad that I would no longer be having Maths lessons, but I feel like I've made the right decision! I'm really enjoying Gov & Pol (let's see if I still think that by next year!) and I still get to do some maths in Chemistry and Biology! Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time! ~Jay

Self Care For When You Hit Rock Bottom

About two weeks ago, I posted a picture on one of my instagram accounts about self care for when you hit rock bottom. I wrote in the caption that I would make a blog post with several more tips...I forgot to do that. Luckily, somebody commented on that post with another self care tip and that reminded me to make this post!

The tips on the original post are:

• Can't shower or take a bath? Dry shampoo can make your hair look and feel cleaner and baby wipes or makeup wipes work great to get the top layer of grime off your skin.
• Can't wash your sheets and make your bed? Push your blankets out of the way and shake the crumbs off of your sheet. It will at least be a bit more comfortable.

The tip given to me by a follower on Instagram is:

• You can also use a flannel and some hot water and soap if you can't use baby wipes for whatever reason.

Here are my tips for you:

• Having trouble with brushing your teeth? Take a piece of tissue or cloth and gently wipe off any residue off of your teeth. You can also put a bit of toothpaste and a bit of water in your mouth, then swish them around. This will neutralise any acidic stuff on your teeth.
• Struggling to brush your hair regularly? Run your fingers through your hair regularly and try to give your hair 1-minute combs to get rid of the surface knots when they begin to appear.
• Is cooking a proper meal just too much for you right now? This tip takes a bit more effort but it's less effort than cooking a full meal. Add a can of chopped tomatoes or passata to a pan. Add some frozen vegetables if you have them. Add a can of beans if you have any! Beans are great in soups! Maybe add a few herbs. Then you just let it sit on a low-ish heat and stir occasionally. It should be ready in 15 to 20 minutes.
• Another food that's easy to cook is scrambled egg. Crack an egg into a saucepan or frying pan (before turning on the heat) and mix it around with the fork. You can add a little splash of milk if you want. Also, if you ever see 'season all' spice mix in the supermarket, I highly recommend this! Add a little bit to your scrambled egg or your soup and the flavour will be even better!
• Had trouble sleeping last night? Try half a cup of green tea, or a full cup if you're used to caffeine. This will give you a little extra energy to get through the first part of the day. Although, the caffeine means that it's definitely not the best idea for everyone.
• Never have anything for breakfast? Try saving a bit of last night's dinner for the morning and reheating it.

I really hope these tips help someone! If you think of any others, please comment down below! You can also email me tips and I can add them to this post! My email address is on the 'Contact Me' page. Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time! 

~Jay

My Gender Experiences Pt.2

This time I'm going to talk about my gender identity in the past and how I discovered my gender identity.

I'm an AFAB (that means I was assigned female at birth). Growing up, I never questioned whether my gender was different from what I was assigned. However, as long as I can remember I've known there was something 'different'. I always just put it down to me being weird. I was always a little isolated from other people. I had friends and I wasn't lonely, but a lot of my childhood memories are of me on my own. I think this is why I don't recall having any strong gender stereotypes imposed on me whilst growing up.

This has just reminded me of the time that my mum bought me some new pajamas. My mum realised once giving them to me that she'd accidentally picked them up from the "boy's" section. She didn't take them back or give them away. She just said something along the lines of, "Oh well!"

This isn't the only example of not following strict gender roles that I have. I've always had a mixture of male and female friends, and growing up I wasn't restricted in what toys I could play with. I used to have a lot of toy cars. One of my favourites was an old model of Ferrari which had openable front doors and headlights that could be flipped up. I was more interested in nature documentaries and science books than I was toys growing up, both of which aren't really the sort of thing people would associate with being for one gender or the other.

During my early teenage years (12-14) I still had that feeling of being 'weird' but I now felt 'different', too. I was the sort of person who would share "I'm not like other girls!" posts on Google+. Spoiler alert: That's because I'm not a girl! Another type of post I used to share was those "Option A or Option B" things. One of them said "Tomboy or Girly Girl." My answer to that one was that I definitely wasn't a girly girl but I wasn't really a tomboy.

When I was 14, I met a new friend. After several months of getting to know this new friend, they came out to me as genderfluid at the same time as a few other people from my school. They explained to me what genderfluid meant. I didn't relate to this term myself but this was basically the start of me figuring out that I was part of the LGBT+ community. A week or two later, this friend suggested that I get an Instagram account, so I did. Because the first person I followed was my genderfluid friend, this meant that Instagram suggested LGBT+ pages to me. This was when I first started properly learning about the trans community.

I started finding more trans people via Instagram and learning about what it feels like to be trans. YouTube became a source of education on trans topics around about late February 2016. I related to trans men quite a lot. After considering my gender for quite a few weeks, I finally came to the conclusion late at night that I was a trans man. Five minutes later, I had doubts!For the next few weeks, I was rather confused, uncomfortable and unhappy. I related a lot to trans men, but calling myself a man just didn't seem to fit, as much as I wanted it to. I even considered whether I was genderfluid, but I knew I wasn't because I didn't feel like my gender was fluid at all. Luckily, I stumbled across a few videos on YouTube about being non-binary. I can't remember who made the video but I remember them saying that you can transition and be non-binary. This struck a chord with me. I could identify as non-binary and yet still transition like I felt I wanted to. I discovered that some non-binary trans people could have the same feelings as binary trans people, yet still identify as non-binary.

This discovery was quite a relief for me. All the 'weird' feelings I'd had within the past few years started making sense. It was great to have a label. Eventually I realised my gender identity was agender (genderless or gender-neutral). I knew that it was okay for me to want to transition and not have to identify as a binary (or even non-binary) trans man.

Over the past two years, I have doubted my identity at times. Upon addressing these feelings, however, I always realise that these doubts were caused by me thinking too much about what other people may think about trans and non-binary people. One day, I might make a post in this series about self-doubt and how I overcome it.

This post is a brief overview of my gender identity in the past and discovering my identity. I plan to make more detailed posts on certain topics to do with my past and discovering my gender identity, such as dysphoria, self-doubt and how my gender expression has changed. Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time!
~Jay

Apologies!

Once again I have forgotten for a lengthy period of time to post more blog updates! I don't really have much of an excuse, other than forgetfulness.

So, what have I been up to these past two months? Well...not much at all, really! I've been on lots of bike rides and have taken many photos. I can't remember much else of what I've been doing! However, I do remember that on the 6th of September I started my A-Levels! I'm going to a sixth form and it's at the same school I've been at for the past 5 years.

I've decided to take Biology and Chemistry as two of my A-Levels. Many people have told me that A-Level Chemistry is incredibly difficult, but I enjoy Chemistry and both of my teachers are great! I'm sure that I'm going to have a fun time learning Biology, too!

Now, about my third A-Level...it's a bit complicated! When I applied for sixth form, I chose Government & Politics as my third A-level. I also chose to do Core Mathematics, which is an AS-level course and so would only last for a year. However, upon looking at my time-table, I noticed that I didn't have many free periods in which to do extra study. This meant that I would have to do a lot of studying at home. I was considering dropping the subject after a week or two, but my first lesson was incredibly fun.

On Friday morning (15th of September) we were told during form time that we had until the end of that day to make any changes to our time-table. At this point, I had made up my mind that I wanted to drop Core Maths and I was now having doubts about Gov & Pol. So, during my 20-minute break, I went to the person in charge of changing and dropping subjects (I'll call them Mx. A so I don't have to mention their real name) and asked if I could drop Core Maths and swap Gov & Pol for Mathematics A-Level. My next lesson would have been Core Maths, so Mx. A found an A-Level Maths class which runs at the same time as my Core Maths class did. Even as I walked to the other end of the school, I was having doubts about my decision. At the end of that maths lesson I felt like I may have made a mistake by swapping. It was then that I remembered that some people had decided to pick 4 A-Levels and drop one after the first few weeks. These people have to decide by next Friday which ones they want to take. This gave me an idea; I went back to Mx. A and asked them if I could do Gov & Pol and A-Level Maths for one week.

I now have to make a decision...Mathematics or Government & Politics. I only have until Friday to decide! If anyone has done either of these subjects for A-Level, please contact me and tell me how you found the course!

Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time!
~Jay

An Unexpected Stop During a Train Journey

I have quite an odd story from a train journey I made in October/November 2016 from Lincoln to Leicester. Everything was going alright until 20 minutes into the journey, there was a loud 'bump'. Nothing happened, though, and the train journey continued as normal the rest of the way. That is, until 5 minutes away from our destination, the train suddenly stopped! Nobody knew what was happening. People working on the train were making frequent, hurried trips from one end of the train to another. Several times throughout the next 15 minutes, one of the people working on the train would apologise for delays and update us on everything they discovered - which was pretty much nothing.

Then, after what felt like hours spent constantly confused, our train driver came out to tell us exactly what was going on. He told us that there was a blockage somewhere in the train. This confirmed one of my theories, and also strengthened my belief that the seemingly harmless 'bump' I heard had something to do with this. I was sure we had hit something back then. But what? The train driver then told us that we had hit some sheep. It was very sad to hear this, and I hope that their ends came quickly (they probably did, luckily.)

The most interesting thing I remember from this was that someone asked the driver, "Why didn't you call the police when you hit the sheep?" The train driver replied, "We only hit two sheep! You have to hit 5 sheep before you call the police!"

Well, I guess...the more you know...

I hope you enjoyed that story, and thank you for reading :)

Blackberry Season is Beginning!

Today, with the help of my best friend and her sister, I managed to collect a whole tub of blackberries! I'm looking forward to the next few weeks as I've seen masses of blackberries growing! By next week I should be able to go out to my main picking sites and come home with three or four tubs. A further week of blackberry picking should mean I can fill at least 5 tubs per day, on average. I might start taking an extra large tub with me so I can collect plenty of them.

I'm super glad that blackberry season has started because strawberry season has pretty much ended, and raspberry season seems to be coming to an end.

I'll be making jam with the blackberries, like I do every year, but I'm going to be using some to experiment with new recipes. I remember making a blackberry and orchard apple pie last year, which turned out great! This year I might try making some sort of cake (gluten free!) with blackberries.

If you have any good blackberry recipes, please leave them in the comments! Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time :)

Edible Plants in Lincoln

I'm making note of the plants I can eat in the place I live. There's not as much in Lincoln as you could find in some areas of Kent, but there's still some lovely plants to be found.

There's raspberries, strawberries and rhubarb in my back garden. Nettle seems to grow well too (haha). My front garden has ispaghula; the seed husks can be eaten. They have a nice texture and I have a recipe using them with some orange to make an excellent dessert. A relative of ispaghula, common plantain, also grows in my front garden. There's also dandelions. The flowers make very nice tea, the leaves are great when lightly boiled and the roots can be used as an alternative to coffee when well-roasted. I like to roast them until they're well-cooked yet still pale on the inside. Lightly roasted dandelion roots an ideal snack.

There are blackberries all over the place I live in, often accompanied by several elder trees. They're in the fields close to where I live, in many places along the River Witham and in liquorice park at the top of the hill in town (the place where I live is surrounded by hills formed by a glacier).

Liquorice park is a wonderful place to find things to eat. There's damsons and greengages, there's apples and pears. You can find raspberries there, too. Close by to the main entrance at the top (liquorice park is on the side of the hill) is a collection of herbs such as sage and thyme. While walking down the path once, my mum pointed out what she thought was horseradish. An information sign at the bottom entrance to the park confirmed this.

In the fields close to where I live, wheat fields occupy the shallow foot of the hills. I don't eat gluten (a story for my next blog post, maybe) so I can't eat any wheat plants that stray onto the surrounding grassy paths. However, I can eat the other cereal which can be found in several locations along the edge of the wheat fields - oats! There's also plantain at the top of the wheat fields. Where the shallow foot of the field abruptly becomes steeper, there is a good number of wild rose (aka dog rose). The flowers (not edible, I don't think) are lovely and the rosehips can be made into a wonderful syrup. The flavour of this syrup has similarities to apple, with a delightful tone of vanilla. Although if the syrup is at this stage you run the risk of it being undercooked, which definitely won't be great for your tongue! The seeds inside a rosehip have a fine, fur-like coating which is rather irritant to the skin and mouth.

From the fields I can find a path which leads to what remains of the old orchard. Along this path are some very large and flavoursome blackberries, so it's one of my favourite picking sites! Due to the fact that the orchard once covered this path, you can find a few long forgotten apple trees. I think there might be a pear tree or two, as well.

There's also a cobnut tree along the way. It reminds me a little of the small hazel forest that is/was (I have no idea if it's still there) in one corner of my primary school's playing field. I used to take hazelnuts home with me once the shells turned brown and store them in a sparkly jewellery box my sister gave me, along with an almond which to this day I still haven't managed to open! The almond tree was outside of my primary school, only thirty seconds away from the gates. Seeing as it is growing in England, it grows very slowly and only has a few almonds each year if it's lucky. It's hardly grown since I left primary school five years ago!

Talking about the almonds and hazelnuts has reminded me of the walnut tree and chestnut trees on the way back home from primary school. There were several chestnut trees, meaning that we always got plenty of them. We collected them in autumn and my mum roasted them in winter, around about Christmas time. I remember my mum roasting three or four trays of chestnuts on Christmas day, and they all had that sweet, nutty flavour and the soft, sometimes crumbly texture. It's strange that the only memory of that Christmas I have is eating chestnuts, and of my sister complaining when she got a bad chestnut! I'm quite sure that my mum made a chestnut stuffing. I guess that counts as another memory! I'm quite sure that was the same year we collected at least five baskets full of walnuts. We let them mature and started eating them in winter, too.

I was talking about the old orchard before I got side-tracked by those memories! Well then...in the small area left of the orchard, nearly every single apple tree and pear tree has a label on it (a few trees accidentally lost theirs!) informing you on the variety of the plant, when the variety was brought to Lincoln and where it originated from. As well as many, many old varieties of apple and pear, the orchard is home to a number of damson trees and even a quince tree! It's also quite a good area to spot wildlife. There are plenty of bunnies, for example, and in summer dragonflies and damselflies. My school sits over where part of the orchard used to be, and you can spot two large cooking apple trees at the front entrance; one is next to the entrance gate and the other is next to the exit gate.

My mum used to have a shop at the lawns (which is not far away from liquorice park. It's also behind Lincoln Castle.) In the lawns is a place called the John Dawber gardens. There are wild strawberries everywhere here. There's also a large blackcurrant bush next to one of the entrances. Embarrassingly, I didn't notice this until I went back to visit the place with my best friend last Tuesday. I think I have a vague memory of noticing it one day, now that I think about it, but even then I only noticed it one time before! There's a few apple trees close to the blackcurrants - don't worry, I noticed them! At the other end of the garden is an incredibly old variety of raspberry. This variety is so old that it's almost unrecognisable as a raspberry plant. The leaves are dark and glossy, and the fruits have quite a different taste to the raspberries you're probably used to.

In the lawns there was an awe-striking conservatory full of amazing plants brought back to Lincoln by Sir Joseph Banks. I loved that place very much and I spent hours upon hours there, especially while my mum's shop was open. It was a beautiful place, but the council decided to knock it down and extend the car park. The car park was hardly used before the extension and from what I've seen, that hasn't changed! Anyway, enough of focusing on the negative, and back to sharing the details of the wonderful plants this place contained! In one corner, I remember my mum pointing out to me the great, long leaves of banana plants. However, thanks to inadequate care there were only a few banana plants left by the time my mum opened up her shop. One of the plants I really admired was a tall fig tree with dark leaves, which was so old that it no longer grew figs each year. It had the remains of long-dead vines wrapped around its trunk. I have never been able to get any fruit or other edible plant parts from the conservatory, but I wanted to include it in this post anyway, because the conservatory was such an important place to me. There are some pots of lavender along the side of where the sanctuary cafe in the lawns used to be. They're still there! That reminds me...grow lots of lavender! Bees love lavender!

I'm pretty sure I've covered most of the major edible plants in Lincoln. Of course, there are one-off edible plants everywhere in Lincoln, such as a rosemary plant growing next to a lamp post close by to my house. It's also extremely likely that I've missed a lot of great places out, knowing what my memory is like. Well, I hope you enjoyed reading this post and I hope it wasn't too long for you! Thank you for reading :)

GCSE exams!

I apologise for my absence! I have been very busy with my GCSE exams. Luckily, I only have three exams left. Most people finished their last exam on Friday. However, I chose to do triple science as a GCSE option. This means that I have to do 9 science exams, which is three more than those who don't take triple science. Each science exam is an hour long, but I have 25% extra time.

Why do I get extra time? Because I have a condition that makes my bones hurt sometimes, which can affect the speed at which I write. I also am allowed to use a word processor (basically a laptop) if I want to. I only used the word processor for English and RE exams, so I used the laptop 6 times out of the 20 exams I have done so far. I most likely won't need the word processor for the next three exams, either.

I have an exam tomorrow so I can only make this short post for now! I will make a longer post once this week is over.

In case you're wondering, I have a Biology exam tomorrow.

My Gender Experiences Pt.1

This is part one of my posts relating to my gender, my experiences with gender and my feelings towards gender. There's a lot for me to say on this topic, so expect a lot more posts on this in the future! I think in this post I'll keep it short(ish) and simple, seeing as it's my first post on this topic.

Okay, so to start of, my gender identity is agender. For any of you who have never come across this term before, here's a definition:

Agender is a term which can be literally translated as 'without gender'. It can be seen either as a non-binary gender identity or as a statement of not having a gender identity. (source: Gender Wiki)

Some people may not understand how I can feel this way. They may not understand how someone could feel anything other that male or female. Sometimes I start to doubt myself and think "maybe I am just male/female" but when I think about my connection with these two genders, they don't really fit me. I try thinking of myself as a male and some parts of that do kind of fit me...but I really wouldn't feel comfortable identifying as male, and I feel the same with identifying as female. I've found that a good way to describe this is as a disconnection to gender. I just don't understand gender, in some sense.

If you have any questions on this, please ask in the comments section! Thank you for reading and goodbye until next time! :) ~Jay

Tomato Soup Recipe

My mum made a wonderful tomato soup recipe. It has a very vibrant flavour and the slight spice is goes so well. Not only does it taste great, but it's healthy! The costs for this soup are relatively low and it's suitable for freezing, making it the perfect food to make in batch and store away for days when you don't feel like cooking or when you're finding cooking things difficult. If I still haven't convinced you of this soup's greatness, it only requires two steps! This is definitely one of my favourite easy meals, and I hope you'll feel the same way.

Nutritional Facts (Approximate)

	Total (6 servings)	Per serving
Energy (kcal)	525	87.5
Fat (g)	2.4	0.4
(saturates/g)	0.1	0.0
Carbohydrates (g)	87.4	14.6
(sugars/g)	53.5	8.9
Fibre (g)	24.3	4.1
Protein (g)	26.5	4.4
Salt (g)	3	0.5

Ingredients

2 tins (800g) chopped tomatoes

1 tin (415g) baked beans

2 carrots (about 200g) sliced or grated

1 stick of celery

3 medium-sized pickled onions (4-5 small or 1-2 large)

Fresh or dried chilli (optional - in our recipe we use chilli-infused pickled onions, but we understand that most people won't have access to these. Add as much as you like. Several chillies if you like spicy foods and half a chilli if you only like a little spice)

1 tsp smoked paprika (optional - we tried adding it today, and it went very well with the flavour.)

Costings (Approximate)

Total (6 servings): £1.83

Per serving: £0.31

Preparation Time

Preparation time: 5 mins (+5 mins if carrots need grating or slicing)

Cooking time: 20 mins

Total: 25-30 minutes

Equipment

Saucepan (medium-large)

Blender (a food processor can also be used. However, we don't recommend this, because you will have to lift the entire food processor to pour the soup out. This is due to there being a hole in the bottom of the processor bowl which allows the motor shaft to spin the blade shaft. We found this out the hard way!)

Method

1. Place all the ingredients (except for the beans), plus half a cup (about 120ml) of water, into the saucepan. Put on the largest hob between low and medium heat for . Stir frequently to ensure none sticks to the pan, otherwise hand-cleaning it may be a bit difficult! Add the beans 15 minutes into cooking, then simmer for a further 5 minutes.

2. Leave the soup to cool for 10 minutes before carefully pouring the contents of the saucepan into the blender. Make sure you don't burn yourself! Blend until smooth, then serve immediately. If planning to freeze, leave to cool completely before pouring into tubs. Health and safety guidelines often suggest storing for a maximum of one month at -18'C (-0.4'F)

3 words beginning with 'A'

1. Abysmal [ab-biz-mul] is an informal word. It is an adjective meaning awful or extremely bad.
2. Accretion [ak-kree-shun] is a noun that means gradual growth or something added.
3. Aficionado, pl -dos [af-fish-yo-nah-do] is also a noun. It means enthusiastic fan of something or someone. For example, you could say I'm an aficionado of Manic Street Preachers.

Hi!

Hello! My name's Jay and this is my blog! My blog's name is a pun, if you didn't know! My favourite band is Manic Street Preachers, and one of their songs is called This is Yesterday.